Treasure

Who doesn’t love treasure? From when we are little kids we have heard about treasure, and it always sounded very intriguing and exciting. Treasure is different things to different people… but I think for most people we think in terms of treasure being gold and silver, lots of money and even possessions. The bible tells us that “where our treasure is, our heart is also”, so we need to be careful what we regard as “treasure”. If your treasure is money and things, then that’s what your heart will chase after, it will forsake everything else cos that is what drives your heart.

My life has been a journey of journey’s, and as I’ve grown and matured so have my treasure’s. I’ve had a bit of a turbulent life… all my own doing, I have been my own worst enemy. The worse my behaviour got the more guilt I added to the burden I had placed on myself. Self-hatred, anger, poor self image… and all those things that go with them became a part of my daily life. It was these things that drove me to church to “look” for Jesus. Turns out… He was never lost… I was. My friendship with Jesus started in my early 20’s. altho I’ve known Who He Is my entire life. Jesus is like no-one I’ve ever met, or ever will meet. 

From the time I started to get to know Him, He impacted my life. Soo much so that it didnt matter how high I was or who I was hanging out with, I would talk about Jesus. I got judged, not just by my “street” friends, but mostly by “church” people, in fact a lot of my “street” friend’s, those who stuck around, eventually started to listen to me, and a lot of them ended up in church. I had this idea in my head of what a Loving God would be like… Sadly, my idea of Who God was and the “churches” version of Who God was, was quite different. Their God demanded me to change, and if I couldn’t, then I was not really saved, or I didn’t really have a relationship with Jesus. That hurt, and it made me start to doubt that I could ever be worthy, cos you see… I could not change… No matter how hard I tried. Then they would tell me that I’m not trying hard enough, I must try harder if I was serious! SERIOUS??? They had no idea how badly I wanted to change. I eventually came to realise that if trying harder worked, it would have worked by now… There had to be another way… preferably one that didn’t rely on me.

My relationship with Jesus, like any normal relationship has changed over the years. But over the last 30 odd years, I’ve seen many miracles, I’ve had many prayer’s answered, I’ve had many prayer’s unanswered – and looking back now I can see why those prayers were not answered. If I look at my life from day to day, I get very disheartened cos I do not see or feel any change. I was complaining to God one day a few years back, I was feeling sorry for myself, I felt God was unfair, I was crying and complaining and from deep within me a voice rose up and said “Look back over your life…”. So I did, and I saw.

Then The Voice said… ” Can you please stop complaining about what is wrong with you, Look back and see how much you have changed from when we first met. Do you ever remember Me asking you to help me change you? Do you remember doing something that made you change? No… All you have done is be my friend and out of that friendship I have led you down the path I have set out for you before the beginning of time. You are not capable of changing yourself, only I can change you. Nothing you have ever done has taken Me by surprise, in fact I know about every single wrong thing you have done and I know the wrong you still going to do, and yet I LOVE YOU. I’ve Loved you from the beginning of time, and I will continue to Love you to the end of time… And in My World, Time Never End’s. There is NOTHING you can do that will make Me stop Loving you. Whenever you feel this way look back, look at all the things I have delivered you of and how you have changed, I did that, without your help. Be grateful for the work I have already done in you, and please stop complaining about the things I am still busy working on. The Good Work I Started In you I Will carry thru to it’s completion.”

I’m at a point in my life where I believe God more than I believe anyone. He has never lied to me, He has never cheated on me, He has never given up on me, not even when I gave up on Him and myself. When I look back on my life I would have to be blind to not see God’s Hand all over my life. I have had so many miracles in my life there is no way anyone can convince me that God does not exist, or that He doesn’t care. I have experienced The Goodness of God in my life over and over. No one can convince me that I can lose my salvation cos I don’t have all my shit together, I swear and I smoke, I’m judgemental and critical, I often have an attitude that sucks, I have zero tolerance for religious people. Iam fully aware of my faults, they are many, but they used to be many more. God has shown me that I’ve got to stop obssessing about all the things that are wrong with me and look at what is right. I am a child of God… The King of All Kings, The creator of Everything. I am not only His child, I am the apple of His Eye. He see’s no bad in me whatsoever. He has my name tattooed on The Palm of His Hand. Jesus came to earth and He lived as a human so that He can identify with me, He then died a cruel, painful, lonely death and by doing that He redeemed me from all the wrong I have ever done. He Loves me so much He sent me His Holy Spirit to help me live this life, to know that I am God’s child, He testifies with my spirit, He strengthens my inner man, He Works in those deep parts of my heart and my soul that I keep hidden from everyone, Except Him. He even prays on my behalf when I don’t know what else to say. We were never meant to do this alone, we were created to do life with Him. And any life without Him, is no life at all.

So I have come to the conclusion that God Loves me. He loves me deeply and passionately. God Loves me blindly, He Loves me so much He doesn’t even see my faults, let alone point them out to me. My whole life I’ve been searching for treasure, my treasure… the thing I desire most, is Love. I’ve looked for that love everywhere, I’ve found it in Jesus. God’s Love pursue’s me, He has pursued me my whole life. His Goodness and His Mercy, they run after me. If God want’s us to know anything… It’s this One Thing… He wants us to know that He Loves us. I know this because I am a habitual sinner, and in spite of that He has been there for me. And just by the way… for those religious out there who want to judge me… my “sin” is no different from yours, for the most part my “BIG” sin was substances, amongst many others, but my sin is no different to your sin of being judgemental, self-righteous, gossips, liars, bad attitudes, especially those we don’t tell or show anyone, those secret sins that only you and God knows. We all have them, we are ALL habitual sinners in one way or another, and THAT is the reason we go to church. We go because we know we are really badly messed up inside… Even when it looks like we have it all together on the outside. We need to be real if we want to be authentic. We need to be real with God, with ourselves and with others. If we cant be real then what’s the point. If I cant be real with God, then I cant be real with anyone. And herein lies my treasure…

I had a prophecy over me recently. I have travelled many journey’s, searching for treasure, that search has taken me to many undesirable places, but it was in those undesirable places that God proved His Love for me over and over and over. He has shown me that even when I took Him from one bad place to the next even worse place, that He mean’t it when He said He will Never Leave me or Forsake me… He Never Has. He has always accepted me, just as I am, He has never told me to clean up my act, or else, He has never said “ok!!! I’ve had enuf!”, He has ALWAYS encouraged me, even while I’m failing. He has allowed me to be who I really am and He has accepted me like that,He does not expect me to be perfect, in fact He is fully aware of my imperfections cos He made me with them. He has never told me I have to change. He knows that I know, that it’s because of those imperfections I need Him. His Strength is made perfect in my weakness. He knows ever deep dark nasty horrible place I’ve ever been to. He knows the worst parts of me, and yet He can still tell me that  “You are holy and perfect in My Sight, I have chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be Mine, you are My Treasured Possession”. WOW. I am His treasured possession. That knowledge is taking me on a whole new journey. I can stop stressing about my failures cos God has turned my failures into strengths, and my current failures are safe in His Hands, covered by Jesus Blood, being cleansed and healed inside by The Holy Spirit. I can rest in the knowledge of Jesus Love for me,. When I get this right and I rest In His Love, I change, without trying to. His Love changes me. The bible tells me that if I delight myself in The Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart. I have found it to be my personal experience that if I truly delight In Him, He becomes my hearts desire. He is my most Treasured Treasure, without Him I am nothing and I have nothing. I know that my many sins have been forgiven. I have been Forgiven much, therefore I love Him much. He is my Greatest Treasure, and I am His treasure.

 

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