Who Is To Blame?

Having been an addict most of my life, then working with others and being friends with soo many, I’ve seen a very common thread in all of us… We need someone to blame for the mess we find ourselves in. I’ve done it… the blame game… we think it absolves us of responsibility if we have someone else to blame for where we are at. I have learnt over the year’s that blame is totally useless, it holds us back from getting control back over our lives… cos if it’s not my fault, then it’s not my responsibility to fix it… right? Wrong, wrong, wrong. Playing the blame game is very common… Now I’m not taking away from the bad things that happen in peoples lives, some truly bad things have happened to a lot of people and its not fair and it’s not right… But… and there is a but, if we allow those bad things to define us and we become a victim to them we cannot change cos we don’t think its our fault. No matter what was done, no matter how terrible it may have been… we are responsible for the way we behave and react after the abuse. Is this fair? I don’t think it’s fair… but then who said that life was going to treat us fairly?

When Jesus was on earth He was not treated fairly, he was hated, he was abandoned in His hour of need, He was abused and tortured and eventually He was murdered… And yet while hanging on the cross He said “Father forgive them cos they don’t know what they are doing”. Personally, I do not believe that God would ask us to do anything that He has not already done Himself. If I look back in the old testament, God seemed like a very angry, unforgiving person… He punished people after the law was given. My goodness… He was soo angry with mankind He said He was sorry that He made us… lets be honest…. who could blame Him. At one point He was soo angry He decided to wipe mankind off the face of the earth, except for Noah and his family. Now I don’t know about you but I think about these things. That’s a drastic step to take, and I think it must have been a long time of God burning with anger to take a drastic step like that. Now please…. this is my personal opinion and it’s not a doctrine being preached, but I think God had come to the end of His patience with mankind. If it were me… I would have wiped them out and left it at that, but God in His Mercy saw you and I in the future so He gave us a chance… I would not have been that kind. mankind is despicable and we don’t deserve anything good. After God flooded the earth and killed everything living I believe (again my opinion) that God felt bad about what He had done… (give it some thought before you start damning me to hell), He gave us the rainbow, which was His Promise that He would never do that again. So I believe that is why God is so big on us forgiving other’s who have hurt us, not because the other person deserves your forgiveness, I believe it is so important cos God know’s what it feels like to burn with anger cos of hurt, He know’s how badly anger and unforgiveness affect the person who is feeling them and He know’s the destruction it causes in us. Unforgiveness eats us alive from the inside out, it affects our life our ability to love, it even affects our health and if left unchecked it will eventually kill us… If most certainly affects our quality of life.

I also do not believe that God gave us all the law cos He wanted to… The people wanted to know what they could DO to please God… God does not want us to do… He wants us to trust Him to do in us what we cannot do for ourselves, He wants us to rely on Him to do. So He gave the 10 commandments. He gave us His Standard, to show us that no matter how hard we “tried to do”, we can’t. Apart from being In Christ and relying on His Finished Work, there is nothing we can “do” to please God. And because of Jesus, The Father is already pleased with us, not cos we are so good, but cos Jesus took our punishment, Jesus did what we could not, He kept God’s Standard perfectly., and by doing that He was The Perfect Sacrifice. Our punishment has been served, not on us, but on Jesus, so we can be in right standing with God even tho we are broken and messed up.

Now I ask… How can we blame God for the situations we find ourselves in cos of the bad choices we have made? I understand… I was angry at God for many years, not cos I believed He was responsible, but cos I know He is God and He can do whatever He wants and I wanted Him to wave His magic wand and remove ALL my faults and failures in an instant and I could live a perfect life, but if He did that I would not need Him. I believe God wants us to partner with Him, us being the weakest link, Him being The One Who brings about change in us… just by getting to know Him. If you believe God is out to punish you for all your wrong, even the wrong you do continuously, then you don’t know God. Don’t try to get to know Him thru someone else, get to know Him yourself. He does not love us all the same, He loves us individually. He know’s us individually, He know’s what we have been thru and He deal’s with us in a very personal way. We are all different so what may work for you may not work for me, and God know’s that.

I have done a lot of wrong in my life, as a christian, now i’m not bragging about it, I’m trying to show you the extent of God’s love for us flawed humans. I hurt my family, I hurt my children. I fell pregnant at the height of my addiction, and I tried, but I could not stop. The doctors told us that my son would not survive, and if he did he would not be normal… I couldn’t accept that as I was desperate to get out of the lifestyle I found myself stuck in, I begged and pleaded and looked for a place that could take me in and help me, but no one was willing. So, as I always did, I turned to God. I asked Him to help me, and if not then at the very least protect my child. I used to lay hands on my belly and pray, I read scripture over my child… Ps 139… I hated myself and I was angry with God, even while I begged Him to help. Was this God’s fault? Hell no, God was not the one pushing needles into my veins. Did I deserve God’s help? Hell no, I deserved to be punished for what I was doing to my unborn child. Did God punish me for it? No!! My child was born and he was an above average child, not average, but above average. Why did He protect my child from me and yet so many good parents could not have children. I believe God saw where I was at, He knew that I was stuck. Could He have delivered me from this curse I’d brought on myself? Yes of course He could have, but He used this situation to show me His love for me. I called on Him, I trusted Him, I read Life over my unborn child while I was injecting poison into both of us. My son will be turning 20 this year. He is my pride and joy, along with my daughter, who is now pregnant with my first grandchild. My children are my proof of how much God loves me, they are a lot like me, but nothing like me. A lot of prayer has gone out over my children. My granny was a prayer warrior and she prayed for alll of us when my mom fell pregnant with us and continued to pray for us all until the day she died. My mom took that baton on from her and I’m following in their footsteps. Prayer is what has gotten all of us thus far, and prayer will carry us thru to the day we leave here.

So what exactly is my point? Am I trying to say it’s ok to carry on with our sin and just pray and God will make sure everything turns out ok? No, I’m not saying that at all. What I am saying is that God know’s us better than we know ourselves. He know’s our hearts. He see’s where we are at inside. He does not look at our behaviour like humans do, and judge us on that. He goes deeper. He looks at what others cannot see. He see’s our faith in Him, or our lack of it and He know’s why we are the way we are. Most times I don’t even understand my own behaviour. If I had to base how I feel about myself on how I’ve lived my life, I would hate myself…. and I did hate myself for many years. Even now I am not my most favourite person…. But I am God’s favourite, I am the apple of His Eye, I am loved soo deeply and soo passionately I cannot even comprehend it. I don’t understand it, but I accept it cos I know that Jesus died for me so that God can accept me as I am. I don’t have my life all together, I’m a mess at the best of times. I just choose to believe what God says about me, I choose to accept Jesus’ sacrifice for me. I choose to believe in His Love for me. Jesus gave up everything…. for me. The very least I can do is be grateful that He truly does love me, that my sin’s were punished on The Cross, I’m free from condemnation, I’m free to rest in God’s love for me. If He loves me that much the least I can do is trust Him to help me love myself, something I could not do until I started resting in His love for me. If I don’t accept and believe God loves me I cannot love myself, and if I cannot love myself then there is no way I can love others. What’s the point of life without love?

And change? How do we change those terrible behaviours we get ourselves stuck in? We rest in His Love, we read His Word which is Life to our soul’s and our bodies, and while we do that, we keep our eye’s fixed on Jesus and the greatest miracle starts to take place. We change. Not in an instant, but slowly over a long period of time. If I look at my life from one day to the next I do not see a tiny iota of change, but if I look back 20 years….. I see massive change. No thanks to me…. ALL thanks to Jesus. The more I involve Jesus in my everyday life, the more I see Him at work in me. I have seen many many miracles in my life, from small ones to big one’s. I will do a blog post on the miracles I’ve experienced. They may not blow your mind, but that’s ok, they blew mine, and they showed me what is possible when we ask and trust God. The more involved I get with Jesus, the more I fall in love with Him, and the more He show’s me His extravagant Love for me. The more involved I get with Jesus, the more I change, without striving and trying. Things I battled with 20 years ago have changed. I look back and think to myself, wow, its been ages since I did that. They have not changed cos I’m all that…. things have changed cos I got Jesus involved and He changed me while I’m focusing on Him.

You can blame God for your problems if you want. But know this… It’s NOT God’s fault. He gave u a mind and a brain and a will of your own. Use it for goodness sake…. If you choose to not use it please don’t blame God for your sucky life. That is ALL on you. God has given us a choice. He says we can choose life life or we can choose death. If I decide to choose death I cannot blame God for it. He wants to give us life and life in abundance but we need to connect with Jesus daily. Get Jesus involved in every part of your life, keep your eyes fixed on Jesus and all the good things in life will be added to your life. The ball is in your court. God has done it all for us by sending Jesus to earth to die. He doesn’t end it there, He want’s to help us do life, He never intended for us to do this alone. If you don’t go to God and ask Him to get involved, if you dont speak to Him and you are angry with Him and blaming Him, your life will continue to suck, and it will just get worse, not better. The choice is yours… Choose Life, Choose Jesus…. Or not…. But if you don’t then don’t blame God…. That stupid choice is ALL ON YOU. You can stay as you are for the rest of your life or you can change by becoming friends with Jesus. The Greatest Friend you could ever have.

6 thoughts on “Who Is To Blame?”

  1. Great Post Debbie! Love that “When you blame others you give away your power to change!” SO true….
    When are you going to start teaching others Debs… ? you’ve learnt so much TRUTH and have so much to give 🤔🥰

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